- Download Hinge, Bumble, and Tinder (if you’re not single, head straight to #7)
- Get rejected on Hinge, Bumble, and Tinder
- Get Pornhub premium [UPDATE: now free for everyone]
- Or get a VPN to make it look like you’re in Italy (where Pornhub Premium is currently free) [UPDATE: Refer to the update in #3]
- Clean your room approximately 4 and a half minutes after #4
- Order yourself a trophy engraved with “New Record Time” on Amazon
- Drink a big glass of wine delivered to your door by a wine subscription service (Good Pair Days, for example)
- Go to sleep in some fresh new sheets
- Think to yourself, “To hell with it… let’s get a new mattress as well.”
- Restock your pad with aromatically pleasing candles
- Play some online poker
- Lose at some online poker
- Come back and play some more online poker (because you have a problem)
- Download ‘Call Of Duty: Warzone’ or ‘Apex Legends’
- Get stuck into some board games
- Or some puzzles (maybe even consider a puzzle subscription service)
- Learn to speak a new language, consider apps like Duolingo or Memrise
- Realise your mistake and get harassed by the Duolingo Owl for an eternity
- If you liked ‘Bodyguard’, binge watch ‘Line of Duty’
- Remember reading’s still a thing
- Read a business book
- Or a novel
- While sipping on some Scotch
- Get stuck into a home workout
- And listen to a podcast at the same time to keep the brain ticking along
- Watch some classic matches on Kayo
- Marie Kondo the shit out of your house and wardrobe
- Consider building some DIY furniture – check out IKEA’s blog Livet Hemma
- Upskill yourself with sites like SkillShare, Coursera, or Udemy
- Turn your house into a giant pillow and blanket fort (like the one in Community)
- Sing outside your window like they’re doing in Italy and try to get your neighbours involved
- Or get to know your neighbour by having a chat through the window/across the balcony
- If you’re a PT or yoga instructor and have access to a rooftop, encourage your neighbours to keep fit like this guy in Spain
- Attempt to grow a beard
- Be told to shave it off or never be allowed near children again
- Attempt a real-life drawing of your roommate – or if it’s with your lover try, and recreate the famous scene in Titanic
- Consider sex toys to keep your horizontal salsa routine fresh
- Put a movie on mute and try some bad lip reading (best done after a hearty go at #7)
- Or try your own version of Drunk History
- Get better at chess
- Find an insane recipe that you want to turn into your pièce de résistance and practice until perfect so you can impress your next date (whenever that may be)
- Learn how to salsa in your living room on YouTube
- Sit outside and look at some stars for a bit of perspective
- Spring clean your Spotify library and playlists
- Host a quarantine Boiler Room Party via Facetime
- Brew your own booze (you may very well start a new business while you’re at it)
- Come up with that billion-dollar idea
- Learn Feng shui and rearrange your house/apartment
- Play ‘The Floor Is Lava’
- Treat yourself to a bubble bath with Epsom salts and put on a face mask
- Buy a canvas and paint it while drink wine…
- Or try painting a masterpiece for your feature wall without the booze
- Watch the full Marvel Universe in the correct order
- Brush up on your cocktail making skills and kit out your home bar
- Learn to give a killer massage
- Learn the art of tantra sex or the Karma Sutra (extra points if you and your partner get through all the positions)
- Print out all of the best photos of the last decade from Instagram and Facebook and create a photo album or picture board for your wall
- Buy a laser tag kit online and compete with your roommates
- Eat some (hash)brownies and watch stand-up comedy specials on Netflix
- Turn your house into your very own crazy golf
- Become a bird-watching expert
- Care for your plants
- If you don’t have any, look up Bonsai trees and somehow end up watching ‘Karate Kid’ again
- Clean the dust off your fan blades
- Then clean the dust out of your undies (burn, you haven’t gotten lucky in a while)
- Polish your R.M. Williams
- Get really good at ironing
- Make a short film… the genre and content is entirely up to you
- Think of new ways to call a beer a beer, we’ll add any crackers with credit where they’re due
- Then think of other ways to put your mate back in his box
- Download the ‘Beer With Me’ app so you can find where the party is at after this is all over
- Practice your golf swing
- Expand your vinyl record collection
- Learn a glossary of easy whisky terms every man should know
- Try the Wim Hof breathing method
- Teach yourself how to drive stick in five minutes or less (auto losers)
- Start a blog
- Or maybe an IGTV series about your time in isolation
- Download TikTok
- Then delete TikTok because you’re over the age of 14
- Check out the new BH ‘Lunch Run’ Facebook watch series
- Learn how to edit your iPhone phones and make them look cooler with Adobe
- Listen to the entire discography of Friday Sharpeners, particular the greatest pick-up story of all time in Season 1, Episode 6
- Write your will
- That’s a bit grim, how about you write some poetry instead
- That’s a bit lame, how about you write an erotic novel instead
- That’s a bit much, see #3
- Get stuck into a colouring book approximately 3.5 minutes after
- Realise how great colouring books are
- Make a kickass paper aeroplane
- Then bet your roommates you can win a paper aeroplane contest from your balcony
- Put your winnings into Qantas shares for sometime later
- Hit up a local Facebook group and offer to help any elderly people with their shopping or errands (if you’re ‘rona free)
- Teach yourself Origami
- Hunt for a free Samsung Galaxy S20 Pro online
- Learn how to play Wonderwall on guitar
- Then never learn anything else on the guitar again and make it everyone else’s problem
- Replace your girlfriend’s fancy hand wash with hand sanitiser that actually works
- Once you’re clear, head to the Winchester
- Have a pint
- And wait for this to all blow over.
— Updated on 2 August 2021
101 Things To Do While You’re In Self Isolation
WORDS BYBoss Hunting