You see those people – you know the type I’m referring to – they walk into a room and they have everyone at their fingertips. If they ask for something, it gets done, they always have the perfect conversation starters
Their tone is polite and kind, but also calmly commanding. It has an air of authority, an aura of attractiveness.
While this may not come as naturally to some as it does to others, it’s quite simple to change one mannerism in your social repertoire to encourage outcomes end up in the direction that you want them to.
The first step to getting what you want is knowing what you want. People who are skilled in making others believe that their options are aligned with their own are firmly decisive in all of their choices.
The golden ticket is to limit their options. The best and most appropriate scenario the modern man can relate to is asking a woman out for a drink. The ‘less is more’ mantra complements this tactic like a moth to a flame.
A poor example would be something like the below:
“Hey, so would you like to get a drink one night this week perhaps?”
There are too many variables here. For starters, it sounds like you’re not even convinced you want to have a drink with this person and the first rule of this entire strategy is to know what you want. You’re also using very weak modal verbs like “would” which imply nervousness and a lack of confidence. Lastly, there’s too many words in the sentence all together.
A solid B Grade approach could look something like this:
Are you keen to grab a drink together after work this week?
Better, but you’re still showing the person the door to opt out. This needs to be taken away. The holy grail is to give the impression they have a choice, but offer a chance to choose a smaller, less significant outcome while you control the overall likelihood their answer will be aligned with what you’re after.
For a winner, you need to approach the situation with a sentence akin to this:
Let’s get a drink this Thursday, how does 8pm work?
It’s decisive, the language is vibrant and optimistic but also strong and confident. You come across as proactive by nominating a date and time, while giving them the freedom to offer a counter proposal that doesn’t affect the overall goal (to have a drink with them). By doing this, you create an illusion they have a choice in the matter when in fact they’re already deciding what time suits them better, not if they will meet you for a drink in the first place.
So add it in with one of your conversation starters for the best chance of success. You can also remove a word from your vocabulary to appear more confident in your next conversation.