‘Die Hard’ Is A Christmas Movie — End Of Discussion

Every year, one of our culture’s greatest philosophical debates inevitably rears its tired head: Is Die Hard (1989) really a Christmas movie? To which I counter with another question: How is it not? Better yet… why are we still refuting its status as the ultimate Christmas movie?

Step back and really think about this s**t. Die Hard. The one directed by John McTiernan – itself adapted from Roderick Thorp’s 1979 novel Nothing Lasts Forever – starring Bruce Willis and Alan Rickman. What’s left when you strip back all the bells-and-whistle elements (i.e. terrorists, $640 million worth of untraceable bearer bonds, gunfights, Nakatomi Plaza)?

At its core, we’re dealing with a story about a working-class bloke in NYPD Detective John McClane (Bruce Willis), who arrives in Los Angeles on Christmas Eve to save his marriage with estranged wife Holly Gennero-McClane (Bonnie Bedelia); and by extension, keep his beloved family together.

McClane’s biggest obstacle isn’t the armed + dangerous European Grinch that is Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman), but learning the true value of family, as well as surviving an uncomfortable Christmas party gone horribly wrong in order to celebrate the holidays with said family.

We really can’t paint a clearer picture, folks.

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Alright, fine. So you’re not convinced. Let’s pretend for a minute that the argument presented isn’t air-f**king-tight. Audience interpretation, after all, is just that – an interpretation. If only someone who contributed towards making the seminal action flick preserved within the US Library of Congress weighed in.

Oh, wait… Someone did.

Meet Steven E. de Souza. In addition to being the screenwriter who adapted Thorp’s Nothing Lasts Forever (1979) for cinema, the man has also most notably penned such blockbusters as Commando, Judge Dredd, Beverly Hills Cop II, as well as Die Hard 2. So what does this veteran of film with a direct hand in the lore think about the smooth-brained rebellion against categorising Die Hard as a Christmas movie?

During his appearance on the Script Apart podcast, de Souza laid out the facts plain and simple, comparing his own masterpiece to the “baseline” Christmas movie: White Christmas (1954). Here’s what we’re dealing with…

Is Die Hard A Christmas Movie: The Official Checklist

• Taking Place During Christmas Holiday
  Die Hard: Entirely
  White Christmas: Only the first & final scenes
• Christmas Party Setting
  Die Hard: Entirely
  White Christmas: Only the final scene
• Christmas Songs
  Die Hard: Four (‘Let It Snow’, ‘Winter Wonderland’, ‘Christmas In Hollis’, ‘Jingle Bells’)
  White Christmas: Two (‘White Christmas’, ‘Snow’)
• Christmas Party Venue Threatened
  Die Hard: By terrorists (awesome)
  White Christmas: By foreclosure (lame)
• Broadcaster w/ Hidden Agenda
  Die Hard: Dick Thornburg
  White Christmas: Johnny Grant
• German Ringleader
  Die Hard: Hans Gruber (refreshing)
  White Christmas: Adolf Hitler (overdone)
• Governent Incompetence
  Die Hard: FBI overreacts
  White Christmas: Pentagon fires General Waverly
• Body Count
  Die Hard: 23
  White Christmas: 26,128 (Battle of the Bulge)
• Selfless Sacrifice
  Die Hard: Running barefoot over broken glass
  White Christmas: Danny Kaye upgrades Vera Ellen’s train ticket

Bonus: The screenplay has 18 mentions of the word “Christmas” while the film itself features 21 distinct visual references to Christmas (more stats here).

Game over, nerds.