What is there left to say about Kenny Powers that hasnโt already been said about an Ancient Roman deity?
The man had a mind for victory and an arm like a goddamn canon. At one point in time, everyone wanted a piece of his shit.
Hereโs what we can all learn about the truly essential elements of life from Kenny fucking Powers.
On Love
โThis is about me loving youโฆ for real. And not in a โjust to make me cumโ kinda way. In a real way.โ
Love should extend beyond the physical. So much more intimacy is waiting to be found past that quick nut.
On Hate
โYou know what? I can already tell that I donโt like you.โ
Sometimes, hate is inexplicable and does not require further explanation. Donโt bend over backwards to hide it.
On Family
โI got two hard rules I live by, Pop: I donโt fuck with the devil and I never do tag teams with blood relatives.โ
Pretty self-explanatory.
On Competition
โNot all alphas are born, children. Some animals become great. They use their mind, form respect, and build alliances.โ
Greatness is not endowed upon individuals from birth.
On Persistence
โ[A] true champion, face to face in his darkest hour, will do whatever it takes to rise above. A man fights, fights, and fights some more. Because surrender is death, and death is for pussies. And my ass ainโt no pussy. My ass is a fucking champion.โ
Do or die. There is no try. If you arenโt willing to scrap for it with tooth and nail, then you donโt deserve to see the other side of the green, green pastures. Victory is a value you must live, breathe, and actively seek.
On Defeat
โIf thereโs one thing I hate itโs losing. If thereโs two things I hate itโs losing and getting cancer.โ
Losingโs pretty bad.
On Standing Your Ground
โThis one coach tried to put me on a weight training program, and I was all like, โYou and your weights can fuck off somewhere. Iโm not lifting that shit. Itโs heavy.โ You tell me why I need strength training when Iโm strong enough to throw a goddamn 100-mile-per-hour pitch? Fuck that.โ
Plant your feet and refuse to move. Both metaphorically and physically. Back your beliefs and never give an inchโฆ or else you might have to one day surrender much more.
On Cutting Loose
โI was paid a handsome amount of money and I brought a shotgun and a bottle of Tanqueray and showed those people the best fucking time theyโve ever seen.โ
Live on the edge. Revel in the good times. Be it smelling the flowers and dancing in the rain or getting absolutely shitfaced with firearms, relishing the highs should always be a priority. Life is finite.
On CrossFit
โI play real sports. Not trying to be the best at exercising. Fuck this guy.โ
CrossFit is a joke. Plain and simple.
On Capitalism
โA lot of people ask me, โKenny Powers, youโre a giant star. You can get any woman. Have you ever paid for sex?โ And the answer is yes, I have. And itโs actually kinda cool. You can negotiate practically anything and sometimes, even just kind of do stuff in the moment that you never agreed to pay for and it goes by without much argument.โ
Interpret that however you will.
Now go forth and grab the world by the balls, you bulletproof tigers.
