Remember that canary-in-the-coal-mine scene from The Big Short? You know, the one where Steve Carrellโs Mark Baum realises the global economy was approaching a historic decline in a goddamn strip club? As it turns out, that sceneโs steeped in an alarming amount of reality. So much so that your everyday stripper can predict markets better than most finance professionals. At least according to a certain netizen by the name of @botticellibimbo / reversecowgirl6, who recently instigated a viral Twitter thread on the subject.
โThe strip club is sadly a leading indicator and I can promise yโall: weโre in a recession lmao,โ tweeted @botticellibimbo / reversecowgirl69.
The Oracle of Orgasm City โ or โWhoracleโ as she playfully dubbed herself โ then added how stock alerts are routinely used to decide whether itโs worth going to work; and how a strip club is more of an โoperative tool for businessโ rather than just a โsin.โ
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โWe always have to be aware of fluctuations in the market and how upper-class white men are behaving and spending their money.โ
In reference to the 2001 Enron Corp scandal, @botticellibimbcoo / reversecowgirl69 revealed strip clubs were where energy salesmen brought their clients and recruiters brought โprospective finance brosโ due to how โdeeply integratedโ adult entertainment was within the business world. โWere.โ Lol.
โOne day, Iโll write about how Enron shaped Houston strip club culture in terms of zoning laws, normalisation, etcโฆ which will genuinely be me coming full circle since we emigrated to the US for my dadโs job at Enron,โ wrote @botticellibimbo / reversecowgirl69.
Given how strip clubs are a cash-flow-heavy enterprise and extra-curricular thrills are generally the first lifestyle element to be axed in hard times, thereโs certainly something to all this. And just in case youโre not quite convinced, @botticellibimbo / reversecowgirl69 went on to disclose how end-of-year bonuses โmake up a large part of strip club revenue,โ further emphasising the intrinsic relationship between the adult entertainment venues and economic conditions.
โAsk ANY stripper โ we have to be aware of how rich people are going to spend their money. Stripping is betting on how the rich spend their money. Youโre gonna tell me that isnโt just a stock exchange?โ
โEvery single stripper I know is a better trend forecaster than any finance bro or marketing exec.โ
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One user even confirmed the thesis by responding with a personal anecdote that occurred in early 2007, right before the Global Financial Crisis. As it so happens, the userโs friend who was stripping at the time said โthe club is way too dead for way too long,โ advising them to sell their stock positions before buying again once the market crashed.
โI thought she was crazy. But she did it and she ended up almost doubling her money.โ
โSex work has survived through every war, recession, and decline of empires,โ tweeted @botticellibimbo / reversecowgirl69.
โIt will survive while other โsinsโ are goods consumed.โ
Now watch the hardos hit up their favourite stripper on a weekday after-hours session to โpredict the marketsโ and call it a โbusiness expense.โ
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