Long-distance relationships get a bad rap for a reason. Theyโre inconvenient, emotionally draining, and leave you wondering if youโre just pen pals pretending to be partners.
But hereโs the truth: distance doesnโt kill relationships, bad habits do.
Itโs not the kilometres that screw you over โ itโs a lack of effort, intimacy, and clear direction. And fellas, letโs be honest, youโre already playing catch-up. Women connect through communication, while men tend to rely on physical presence to feel close.
Hereโs your game plan.
Donโt overdo it
Thinking you need to talk nonstop to stay close is a rookie move. You donโt. Endless โWhatโs up?โ texts kill the vibe and make the relationship feel like a chore.
Remind yourself and your partner that connection is about quality, not quantity. Schedule intentional time to talk and treat it like an actual date. FaceTime while cooking dinner, plan a virtual movie night, or jump on a call when youโre both relaxed and present.
And ask better questions. Instead of, โHow was your day?โ try, โWhat made you laugh today?โ or โWhatโs been on your mind lately?โ Real connection comes from deeper conversations, not play-by-plays of your schedule.
Flirt from afar
Just because youโre not physically together doesnโt mean the chemistry has to take a hit. Steamy texts, cheeky voice notes, and surprises show youโre thinking ahead. Think care packages or handwritten letters (yes, actual letters).
Place mementos around the apartment or hotel room and make your environment an extension of the relationship. Itโs not always about grand gestures. Itโs about consistent effort that makes your partner feel seen and wanted.
Donโt underestimate the power of anticipation. Talk about what youโll do when you see each other. Plan it, tease it, and build the excitement (this guide has you sorted). Half the fun of physical intimacy is in the lead-up, and being apart just gives you more time to perfect the art of flirting, teasing, and staying connected.
Side note: thereโs no shortage of remote-controlled toys and creative ways to keep the spark alive, distance or not. Welcome to the 21st century.
Make a damn plan
If thereโs no plan, thereโs no point. Long-distance relationships without endgames are like walking around blind; eventually, one of you will tap out. So have the hard conversations early: When will you see each other next? How often? Whatโs the payoff?
โLong-distance foreverโ isnโt sustainable; itโs a slow death. Set timelines, lock in goals, and always leave with the next visit on the calendar.
If youโre avoiding this because youโre scared of the answers, congratulations โ youโre already in trouble. Healthy relationships are built on direction, not ambiguity. A plan gives you something to work toward and keeps the connection alive.
Share experiences
Couples bond through shared emotions and experiences, not just proximity or rehashing their daily routines. Distance doesnโt mean you canโt create memories together; itโll just take dusting off some (mildly traumatic) COVID-era survival hacks.
Watch a nail-biting Netflix series and voice-note your reactions as if youโre having couch time, or planning virtual โdatesโ like cooking the same meal while on FaceTime.
The goal is shared emotions and experiences. Feeling close comes from doing something together and experiencing the same emotions, not repeating the same boring phone call every night.
Donโt let insecurity drive you
Distance has a nasty way of amplifying insecurities. If you spiral over unanswered texts, start stalking their social media for clues, or fixate on that โnew co-workerโ they keep mentioning, youโre not solving anything โ youโre digging your grave.
Trust is everything. If youโre constantly looking for reasons to doubt your partner, youโll find or invent them. Thatโs not about them, itโs about you. Either youโre with the wrong person, or itโs finally time to sort out your baggage because dragging it into a long-distance relationship will set the whole thing on fire.
The bottom line
Long-distance relationships are tough, but theyโre far from impossible. What keeps them alive isnโt optimism โ itโs effort, trust, and a clear plan for where youโre headed. You didnโt choose this setup, but you chose each other, so you both need to act like it.
Resentment creeps in when the relationship feels like a burden instead of a choice. Show up. Stay connected. Prove over and over that youโre in this. Long-distance isnโt about where you are; itโs about demonstrating you give a s**t every single time.
Nail that, and youโll become stronger than couples who spend every waking moment together pretending proximity equals intimacy. And if you canโt? Well, at least you wonโt waste any more time fooling yourself into thinking distance was the problem.
While youโre here, check out some other cracking guides from evidence-based dating coach and Tinder ambassador Sera Bozza:
- How To Take A Good Dick Pic: A Complete Guide
- 10 Crucial Tips For Dating An Older Woman
- A Girlโs Group Chat Tells Us What Not To Wear On A First Date
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- The Text You Should Send Instead Of Ghosting
- A Modern Manโs Guide To โAttachment Stylesโ
- How To Tackle Valentineโs Day When Youโre Only Two Dates In
- How To Break Up With Someone The Right Way
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- Become A Sex God With These Simple Workouts
- The Hot/Crazy Scale Is Real & Actually Backed By Science
- 10 Things Women Look For In Your Apartment
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