Words Of Wisdom From Aussie Legend Paul de Gelder
โ€” Updated on 30 July 2021

Words Of Wisdom From Aussie Legend Paul de Gelder

โ€” Updated on 30 July 2021
Jay Bowden
WORDS BY
Jay Bowden

I recently spoke with Paul de Gelder, one of the main actors in Australiaโ€™s own Fighting Season. The mini-series is a dramatisation of the inner battles our diggers face upon returning from war. As an ex-paratrooper and an ex-Navy clearance diver, very few Australians understand the reality of war better than Paul.

But Paul de Gelderโ€™s story isnโ€™t just one about warfare. At many points through his life, Paulโ€™s story could have been one of tragedy: he could have remained caught up in the hazy โ€˜fogโ€™ he lived in during his early 20โ€™s, with nothing but the taste of weed and two-minute noodles in his mouth. Or, after a considerably successful career with the armed forces, Paul de Gelder could have allowed the moment when a shark tore off his right hand and right leg be the defining tragedy in his life.

Instead, Paulโ€™s story is one of the triumph over tragedy โ€“ the simple act of turning a negative into a positive. These were a few of the many words of wisdom I received from Aussie legend Paul de Gelder in our small yet dense conversation this week.

Fear Can Be Our Greatest Ally

After the shark attack that claimed two of Paulโ€™s most crucial appendages, the first thing on his mind was getting back to health, getting back in the water, and getting his job back with the Navy:

โ€˜The motivator that I had there was fear. And fear can be a very great strength. So I utilised that into a determination of trying to keep my job and trying to keep this dream alive that I fought tooth and nail to achieve. Because I did know what it was like to have nothing and I knew what it was like to struggle.โ€™

Remember where you come from and make sure you never go back there.

Losing an arm and a leg in a shark fight is not a pleasant experience. In fact, itโ€™s excruciatingly painful (as Paul would tell you). But Paul de Gelder faced a far mightier beast after the shark attack โ€“ morphine addiction. So what was the motivator?

โ€˜All those years working behind the bars โ€“ we had no electricity, we were showering at the public showers at Southbank in Brisbane. Eating two-minute noodles on toast and I smoked weed and lived in a fog. I was so absolutely determined not to return to that and get back into my career.โ€™

Winning battles wins wars.

Once Paul had been fitted with his new hand and leg, the road to rehabilitation literally and figuratively required baby steps โ€“ simply putting one foot in front of the other.

โ€˜That fact that I had the laser-like focus. That was it, that was all I did. Tiny little steps โ€“ get up earlier, get off the drugs, eat healthier, get to the gym, learn to use my body, get a leg, learn to walk. And all those little goals and challenges helped so much that within 6 months I got to go back to work.โ€™

Dying isnโ€™t scary, dying with regret is scary.

As a man who had been deployed overseas to fight in a war, and as a man who faced death in its ugliest, most menacing form, Paul de Gelder has plenty of reasons to fear death. However, the experiences in his life taught him a new perspective; a perspective that allowed no room for fear.

โ€˜Believe me when I say, dying is not scary. Iโ€™ve faced it in the most horrific and violent ways โ€“ most peopleโ€™s worst nightmare. The dying part is not scary. The bit where youโ€™re dying and you have regrets is scary. And I didnโ€™t have any regrets. Because Iโ€™d achieved so much more than what I thought was possible in my life. And now itโ€™s come to the point where Iโ€™m on bonus time, Iโ€™ve got my second chance, so thereโ€™s absolutely no way Iโ€™m going to waste that now.โ€™

โ€˜Strength is vulnerabilityโ€™

This is the advice surfing legend Layne Beachley gave to Paul de Gelder as his career in public speaking began to blossom. We all have a story to share and when we can begin to relate our own experiences to that of others, thatโ€™s when it can become truly valuable.

โ€˜What I thought I was supposed to be doing was just telling a story. Little did I realise that people couldnโ€™t relate to that story if I didnโ€™t give some of my human side. Over the months and years, I had to delve into that side of my personality and give it an even balance of every aspect of who I am and what the story involves.โ€™

Do not live in the world of โ€˜what ifโ€™sโ€™

Paul de Gelder has taken a situation that would mentally and physically break your average man and turned it into an overwhelming positive โ€“ not just for himself but for society. With a life like his, there can be no room for regret.

โ€˜My life is ridiculous. I canโ€™t even believe the life that I live. Itโ€™s something that I dreamed about. You know, itโ€™s hard โ€“ the first thing I do in the morning is, Iโ€™ve got to put my leg on. Iโ€™ve nearly died half a dozen times jumping into the shower on one leg and nearly breaking my spine.โ€™

โ€˜I wouldnโ€™t go back and have my leg and my hand back. Because I donโ€™t know who that guy would be. But I know who I am now, and Iโ€™m happy. I embrace it and Iโ€™m just trying to keep the growth of this career going that Iโ€™ve accidentally fallen into goingโ€™

Paul de Gelder is a living legend, especially when you look at how scary this feeding frenzy with surfers was.

Catch Paul on Fighting Season โ€“ out now on Foxtel

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