On The Market: 26-32 Knightsbridge Parade East Is A Monstrosity
— Updated on 15 December 2020

On The Market: 26-32 Knightsbridge Parade East Is A Monstrosity

— Updated on 15 December 2020
Garry Lu
Garry Lu

The Gold Coast, with its silicon housewives, unregistered massage parlours, and post-high school debauchery, gets a bad rap. But every so often, a glimmer of something breaks through and plays right into the gaudy stereotype. This $40 $45 million mansion situated at 26-32 Knightsbridge Parade East, however, is far from a glimmer – it’s a blinding supernova.

With design cues that draw inspiration from what I can only assume is a combination of Scarface, bastardised Grecian antiquity, and the wet dreams of every single flog who’s been to Ibiza once – it almost defies belief that anyone would actually want to live here. As in with their family, to build a life, watch those quiet afternoons pass by, etc.

If Vegas is a two-night town, this is a two-night stay at best. The first six hours would be spent attempting to get cosy, invariably failing, perhaps dipping a toe into the pool, before realising you can’t possibly run away from yourself – not even here. The remaining forty-two hours would be spent trying to find your way out of this lurid and over-the-top labyrinth.

Spread across 4,254 square metres with 106 metres of sheltered waterfrontage that could “… easily accommodate two 90+ foot vessels…”, if nothing else, this estate has a whole lot of space and a whole lot of symmetry going on for it.

Inside this wildly confronting mis-en-scene, you’ll find:

  • A master suite accompanied by a his and hers bathhouse, with French doors opening onto a balcony overlooking the main focal point
  • 6 “oversized” ensuite bedrooms with their own views of either the river or park
  • Several formal lounge and dining rooms
  • Hampton’s-style kitchen
  • Turkish bathhouse
  • Master office suite
  • Personal library
  • Wine cellar
  • Pool
  • 12 car garage
  • and Kone commercial-grade lift servicing all levels

Additionally, the roads are patrolled 24/7 for your complete protection. The threats being whatever the outside world may throw at you – disgruntled former spouses, debt collectors, blokes you mouthed off over the old PS4 chat – as well as the ever-dangerous idea of subtlety. Certainly can’t have any of the latter wandering around these parts…

Check it out for yourself below.

To confirm whether 26-32 Knightsbridge Parade East is real or not for yourself, visit domain.com.au.

Subscribe to B.H. Magazine

Garry Lu
After stretching his legs with companies such as The Motley Fool and the odd marketing agency, Garry joined Boss Hunting in 2019 as a fully-fledged Content Specialist. In 2021, he was promoted to News Editor. Garry proudly retains a blue belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, black bruises from Muay Thai, as well as a black belt in all things pop culture. Drop him a line at [email protected]