50 Things To Do In Melbourne Now The Grand Prix Is Cancelled

Well… I don’t think we need to explain what has happened in Melbourne these last twenty-four hours. COVID-19. McLaren pulling out. Entire Australian Formula 1 Grand Prix cancelled.

If you’re anything like us here at BH, you may have even cleared the entire week to be in Melbourne – only to have the ice cream smacked out of your hand.

Here are 50 things to do in Melbourne instead.

  1. Go-karting (like we’re about to in T-minus 30 minutes)
  2. Paintball
  3. Drinking
  4. Lots of drinking
  5. Indoor drinking
  6. Outdoor drinking
  7. Run around in circles
  8. Run to the beach
  9. Take to Twitter
  10. Stew on Twitter
  11. Cop a nice steak at any of these fine Melbourne establishments
  12. Explore the laneway
  13. Attempt a hook turn
  14. Fail at a hook turn
  15. Fail to understand a hook turn
  16. Call your insurance provider
  17. Ride a tram
  18. Spend some time at the Melbourne Zoo
  19. Get kicked out of the Melbourne Zoo for heckling the seals
  20. Go to Dutton Garage
  21. Imagine what could have been at Dutton Garage
  22. Order a Melbourne coffee
  23. Take a sip of a Melbourne coffee
  24. Arrive at the conclusion that Melbourne coffee isn’t really greater than Sydney coffee
  25. Tell the barista exactly that and have said coffee dumped on your lap
  26. Head to the State Library
  27. Find a dictionary at the State Library
  28. Look up the definition of “disappointment” in the dictionary at a State Library
  29. Remember to call Mum
  30. Apologise to Mum just for… everything
  31. Spend some time at the Melbourne Aquarium
  32. Get kicked out of the Melbourne Aquarium for heckling the penguins
  33. Cop some dim sum in South Melbourne
  34. Become a captain for a day on the Yarra with GoBoat (bonus: dog friendly)
  35. Walk around Federation Square and take in the defeated atmosphere
  36. Head to Crown Casino
  37. Lose it all at Crown Casino
  38. Head to Brighton Beach
  39. Swim out from Brighton Beach
  40. Keep swimming out from Brighton Beach
  41. Wake up on the shores of Brighton Beach after lifeguards resuscitate you
  42. Buy some new underwear at Bourke St Mall
  43. Take an Uber back to your accommodation
  44. Cry in bed
  45. Enjoy some cinema at the Underground Cinema
  46. Cop some brunch at Higher Ground
  47. Take a $150 Uber to the airport
  48. Run into Kimi Raikkonen, Sebastian Vettel, and Lewis Hamilton who have been camped there for the last 12 hours
  49. Get tackled by security when you stifle a cough
  50. Reflect on the week that has been as your $80 Jetstar panic booking takes off