4 Lessons Every Man Can Learn From Charlie Kelly

We often look towards those at the top of the pyramid, aspire to be in their position, and attempt to extract what lessons their experience offers. But we rarely look towards the experience and learnings of those six-feet below the bottom. 

Crawling through the sewers, there’s a figure that holds insights that only a few can honestly say they fully grasp. That figure being Charles “Charlie” Kelly: King of the Rats. Otherwise known as Greenman, Trundle/Chrundle the Great, and The Boy. 

Here are four life lessons we can all learn from the singular Charlie Kelly.



Some days you’re the hammer, some days you’re the nail

We all have our version of “Charlie work”. Maybe it’s not moving the fan near the yuck puddle. Maybe it’s not clubbing rats to death with a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. And maybe it’s not covering the bar’s glory hole up before the health inspector gets here. But there’s bound to be something in your day-to-day that just sands away at your once lively soul.

The important thing to consider here is that there will be ups and downs, gives and takes, ebbs and flows. When shit gets rough, you just need to keep on keeping on with that kick-ass rock, flag, and eagle spirit. 

Don’t let your shortcomings limit your appetite for life

Illiterate? Learn to communicate through a series of demented hieroglyphics. No formal education? Start your own field of bird law, anyways. Lacking a grasp on reality in general? Never fear — it’s your world, after all. Everyone else is just living in it. 

Limitations are made to be broken. And if everyone waited until they could soundly clear the obstacles every time there was a barrier instead of trial-by-firing it, nothing would get done. Nor would some of history’s finest moments ever exist. Think about it. Steve Jobs didn’t code, and now Apple is a trillion-dollar company. If you want something, go out and take it… you just have to really want it.

Entrepreneurial spirit will take you far 

2020 is the year of the hustle. Side or otherwise. The only way to get ahead in this world is to think ahead. Anticipate the needs of the many:



  • Kitten mittens
  • Bird lawyer (unlicensed)
  • Illegal underground fighter 
  • Drunk referee of children’s basketball 
  • Door-to-door petrol delivery straight from the barrel
  • Garbage disposal in tuxedos with a limousine
  • Fight milk, with crows eggs as the secret ingredient 
  • An opera about being molested by “The Nightman”, which you created while high

These are just some g̶o̶o̶d̶ ideas undertaken by the man himself.

Expression of your true self is key

Why live out someone else’s idea of your own identity? Stick to the classics. What you know. And more importantly, who you are. Wear out that military jacket and thermal pyjama bottoms. Take a Ziploc bag of spaghetti everywhere you go regardless of the venue’s spaghetti policy. Order the milksteak boiled over hard with a side of raw jellybeans. Bang out every tune you come up with after a hearty session of huffing silver paint. And if anyone stands in your way, smack them into tiny, little pieces. 

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