Depending on personal experience, everyone will have a slightly different answer to the million-dollar question: how long should sex actually last? But what does science have to say about the matter; and how to last longer in bed? You know… to improve on a less-than-average situation. Let’s not muck about and get right into it.
There’s no doubt that the average duration of sex will only evolve with the times. For example: the studies published within the Kinsey Reports Sexual Behaviour In The Human Male (1948) indicated anything between three to ten minutes was categorised as “normal”. Whereas in the present day, this is scientifically known as “a piss poor effort” – sans those with medical issues. No judgement.
The issue with a lot of these approximations is that it’s simply impossible to get an accurate reading on the general population down to the detail without getting super invasive. Although there have been quite a few commendable attempts, spanning across countries, age groups, circumcised/uncircumcised members, and so forth. So take what you’re about to learn with a grain of salt.
How long should a man last in first round attempts?
According to a 2005 study conducted by the Society for Sex Therapy & Research, the average range of duration for a man during first round attempts was found to be three minutes to thirteen minutes (not including foreplay). But don’t take that to mean three minutes is acceptable.
The interquartile brackets were separated into the following (again, not including foreplay):
- “Too Short” – one to two minutes
- “Adequate” – three to seven minutes
- “Desirable” – seven to thirteen minutes
- “Too Long” – ten to thirty minutes
Again, this was just a bare average study. The BH recommendation – as with most aspects of life – is to openly communicate with all parties involved regarding expectations and aim for the stars, i.e. as much as everyone can handle. I honestly don’t know anyone – male or female – satisfied with anything less than ten minutes.
How long should a man last in second round attempts?
This section is more of a wind up than anything else. It’s OK, you can admit your split-second panic. There’s even less information about rounds two, three, and four than there is about round one. Generally speaking, your biological resources are depleted so it will certainly be longer than the first round. It’s easier to rise to the occasion for the younger fellas, and will vary from person to person.
Again, hydrate, stay fit and healthy, play to your strengths, and communicate with your partner. The key to a great and well-functioning sex life is a mutual understanding of each other’s needs and being open/willing enough to explore.
The other side of the problem…
… AKA delayed ejaculation. You will have noticed that the interquartile results included “Too Long” as a label. That much is accurate for the majority of the population. Because contrary to popular belief, more doesn’t equate to better.
Delayed ejaculation impacts 1-4% of men, and refers to a difficulty or inability for a man to achieve orgasm and subsequently ejaculate with a partner. The threshold for anything to be classified delayed ejaculation is thirty minutes or longer of continuous penetrative sex despite a normal erection. As for the cause, it’s either physical, psychological, or a mixture of both.
While numerous men of this generation – as well as generations before – may have experienced a struggle to the finish lines due to consumption of drugs or alcohol (i.e. whisky dick, pilly willy), experiencing it sober is often more of a psychological problem; with the popular assertion that it correlates with masturbation habits. Masturbating too much, too often, over-reliance on the old Pornhub – these are all common factors.
General tips from the experts to achieve the sex you want
- Exercise – cardio and weightlifting are big winners, direct a bit of focus on the pelvic floor muscles for better control. Overall health informs sexual performance.
- Proper diet – Ibid.
- Proper rest – Ibid.
- Relax – stress is another inhibitor of sexual performance. Easier said than done, but learn to chill, clear your headspace, and try to stay in the moment.
- Extend foreplay – half the pleasure is in the build up, the anticipation. Make sure everyone’s comfortable and put in some extra minutes. It is, after all, a large portion of what women want.
- Explore different positions – there may be a magic sweet spot, for both parties involved, that hasn’t been discovered yet. Play around, freestyle with it.
- Desensitising pharmaceuticals – pills, creams, specialised condoms, hell, even just thicker condoms. All are available to help in the 21st century (within reason and after the proper consultation with medical experts depending on your unique health profiles).
- Slow down, pause, resume, repeat – pretty self-explanatory, don’t rush it if there’s time on the clock.
- If all else fails, consult an expert – there’s nothing wrong with you, nor is there any shame, only solutions. Bite the bullet and sort it out at your own leisure.