Before you start prematurely firing off punchlines about firing off prematurely, no… the four words aren’t: “Sorry, this never happens.” Although what you should say during sex directly involves your actions just the same – at least according to prolific Doctor of Human Sexuality and practicing sex therapist, Emily Morse.
So what’s this magic phrase that’s supposedly the key to unlocking sexual success? Believe it or not, it’s as simple as: “Do you like this?”
“In my opinion, one of the hottest things ever is when a partner asks, ‘Do you like this?'” reveals Dr Morse of Sex With Emily podcast fame.
“Some of us expect our partners to intuitively known our sexual wants, but that’s rarely possible. Checking in during sex and letting your partner know when they’re doing something right leads to more pleasure, a deeper connection and better communication in other areas of your life.”
What you should say during sex, however, is just one piece of the carnal puzzle. As Dr Morse elaborates in a recent interview, there are other steps you can take to elevate an orgasm’s status from good to great.
Here’s what the good doctor has prescribed, which can apply to both genders:
- Get comfortable with masturbation
“Dr. Morse says self-pleasure is the best time to make sure you understand your body and to help you figure out what you like and what you want. Once you learn more about what you enjoy, you will have an easier time replicating the effect with a partner who makes you feel safe.”
- Always make time for foreplay
“Foreplay is a requirement, not a suggestion. When you engage in foreplay before the main event, you bring in extra blood flow and sensitivity, and you will feel a bigger sense of release in the end.”
- Experiment with edging
“Dr. Morse says that edging, or ‘coming right up to the edge of your orgasm, backing off, and repeating,’ can be done on your own or with a partner. It builds up a lot of sexual energy and can feel very explosive when finally released.”
- Don’t skip the lubricant
“'[Women] can be very turned on and not wet, or we can be very wet and not turned on,’ says Dr Morse. When you add lube to the equation, you have guaranteed wetness, which she adds can contribute to a great, not just good orgasm.”
And now you know.
Now check out our interview with the king himself – Johnny Sins – and his tips for fighting premature ejaculation here. Or maybe you’d prefer to read our other interviews with the equally iconic Lana Rhoades here and Sasha Grey here.