Once upon a time, the Fast & Furious franchise was about boosting DVD players, illegal drag races, and suppressing one’s sexuality with thinly-veiled threats of violence. Then somewhere down the line, Vin Diesel’s familia found themselves tangled up with nuclear submarines, trips to the International Space Station in duct-taped suits, and most perilous of all, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s contractual stipulations.
Here’s a breakdown of the Fast & Furious timeline by both release chronology and escalating silliness. But for those of you who need a quick refresher on in-universe chronology, here it is…
- The Fast and the Furious (2001)
- 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)
- Fast & Furious (2009)
- Fast Five (2011)
- Fast & Furious 6 (2013)
[NOTE: post-credit scene with Jason Statham’s Deckard Shaw occurs during Tokyo Drift] - The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006)
- Furious 7 (2015)
- The Fate of the Furious (2017)
- F9 (2021)
- Fast X (2023)
RELATED: Vin Diesel Confirms Multiple ‘Fast & Furious’ Spin-Offs Are On The Way
The Fast and the Furious (2001)
Alright, so the debut instalment with Rob Cohen at the helm wasn’t atrociously divorced from reality.
In fact, it was actually based on a 1999 Vibe magazine article written by Ken Li titled ‘Racer X.’ And in the deftly capable hands of screenwriters like Erik Bergquist, Gary Scott Thompson, as well as David Ayer – the latter of whom penned Training Day and would later direct Fury – you can see why Universal Pictures were so keen to milk it for all it’s worth.
That being said, I’m not going to ignore the fact that Hector was gonna run three Honda Civics with Spoon engines. And on top of that, he straight up came out of Harry’s and ordered three T66 turbos with NoS and a Motec system exhaust.
Silly Factor Score: 2 out of 5 Tuna Sandwiches
2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)
At this point, we’re still sort of grounded.
A direct continuation from the first, this is when we’re introduced to Roman Pearce (Tyrese Gibson) and Tej Parker (Ludacris). Two seemingly ordinary guys coming up from the wrong side of the tracks who are later revealed to have the skillset for espionage, hacking, advanced hand-to-hand combat, world-class performance driving, as well as space travel in subsequent films.
Also, there’s more NoS and an ejector seat. Yeah.
Silly Factor Score: 2.5 out of 5 Fuggeddaboutitcuhs
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006)
In addition to being both mine and Christopher Nolan’s personal favourite chapter – and, at this stage, still revolving around one’s ability to drive – Tokyo Drift isn’t all that far-fetched.
That is, until it’s later retconned to take place after:
- Fast & Furious (2009)
- Fast Five (2011)
- Fast & Furious 6 (2013)
This wouldn’t be such an issue if all three of the above didn’t showcase 2010s tech, while Han (Sung Kang) apparently gets in deep waters with the Yakuza for jacking – let me check my notes – Panasonic DVD players?
Oh but wait: we later find out he really got taken out by Jason Statham’s Deckard Shaw, former British Special Forces/MI6 and mercenary, because Dom Toretto & Co. were a little rough on the horseplay with baby brother, Owen Shaw (Luke Evans).
Oh but wait (x2): F9 reveals the assassination was actually a ploy to help Han disappear, thereby allowing him to protect his adoptive daughter Elle (Anna Sawai) and superhacking weapon Project Aries, on the orders of Kurt Russel’s mysterious government agent Mr Nobody.
Talk about a continuity nightmare. Some things are better left dead.
Silly Factor Score: 2 out of 5 Snacks
Fast & Furious (2009)
The Fast & Furious timeline is now a long ways away from Panasonic DVD players and drag races.
We open – yes, open – with fuel tankers in the Dominican Republic, and build our way up to $60 million worth of heroin. Letty dies very suddenly, because it turns out she’s in cahoots with Brian, who’s now a fully-fledged FBI agent despite being an LAPD officer just a few years prior (not even a detective, mind you).
But not to worry, Letty returns once the studio resolves contract disputes with Michelle Rodriguez in the aftermath of her Avatar success. Gotta love James Cameron.
Silly Factor Score: 3 out of 5 Subaru Imprezas
Fast Five (2011)
Fast Five and the introduction of The Rock as DSS Agent Luke Hobbs always seemed like the sexually charged fantasy of some high-profile producer behind the scenes. Not to yuck another man’s yum, but just pay ’em to lather up in baby oil at your house already. Why dance around it for two hours?
As over-the-top as the vault heist scene is, I will admit… that’s some good s**t right there, son. Peak kino. Thoroughly entertaining. And thoroughly impressive from a stunt coordination point of view. If only they didn’t have to connect it with another shoehorned villain arc for Fast X (Jason Momoa’s Dante Reyes).
This is where the franchise really starts departing from reality in leaps and bounds.
Silly Factor Score: 3.5 out of 5 BRAAAZILs
Fast & Furious 6 (2013)
Now that Universal has resolved that contract dispute, Letty is alive again and no longer written out. But to work around the whole four-year absence, she has amnesia – the classic plot fix for anything unexplained, including the already haphazardly assembled Fast & Furious timeline.
Dom is now with Rio police officer Elena from Fast Five – portrayed by Elsa Pataky – though we can’t let her get in the way of the fan favourite. So let’s put her on ice at the end until we figure out a convenient plot device to leverage her star power and box office potential.
Former British SAS Major Owen Shaw (Luke Evans) enters the picture, and he’s making quite the ruckus. His crew consists of other ex spec ops soldiers… and Letty. Who has amnesia(?) Because she fits right in with the work culture, I suppose. It’s still sort of about heists at this point, just not as much as it is spitting in the face of physics and the mention of special forces.
How else are they meant to keep our increasingly ADHD attention?
Silly Factor Score: 4.5 out of 5 CGI Car Jumps
Furious 7 (2015)
I anticipate some heat being directed my way for badmouthing Paul Walker’s emotional send-off – which Vin Diesel himself genuinely believes is the best moment in cinematic history – but here goes nothing.
Jason Statham’s Deckard Shaw arrives as a backdoor set-up for the spin-off so they can still make money once The Rock definitively falls out with Vin Diesel to avenge his brother, Owen.
More inexplicable showcases of specialist expertise in areas we’ve never had a foundation built for on-screen, more blatant defiance of physics, and more whatever fight scenes. If it seems like I’m easing off the pedal myself here, it’s because I’m actually developing a migraine.
Silly Factor Score: 5 out of 5 Lykan Hypersport Deadlifts
The Fate of the Furious (2017)
God… where to begin with this one?
Cyberterrorist Charlize Theron with that f**k-ass bowlcut. EMPs. Nuclear devices. That stupid submarine sequence. My internal CPU is positively frying right now. I may lose my ability to smell rain and see the colour red by the time I’m done typing.
They finally managed to figure out a convenient plot device for Elsa Pataky’s Elena – now DSS Agent Elena, because everyone moves up in the world in practically no time with zero friction. And as it turns out, Dom yelled “Wu-Tang” and emptied the clip into her one time, because they now have a secret love child being held hostage. Which is why Dom’s going against family at face value.
But hey, good on Elena for landing the DSS gig. Being a single mother is hard.
Silly Factor Score: ??? out of ???
F9 (2021)
I mean, it’s just the Rick & Morty “Two Brothers” trailer gag with John Cena as Dom’s estranged sibling Jakob Toretto. Only somehow even dumber than what a drunk Justin Roiland improvised in the recording booth (if you can believe that). Rocket car to the ISS, and all.
Also, for a man who’s canonically all about his familia, Dom has a lot of random relatives coming out of the woodwork.
Silly Factor Score: Who Gives A F**k out of I Don’t Care Anymore
Fast X (2023)
I give up. You win, Universal Pictures. I’m officially out of quarter-miles.
I can’t believe you people still have enough in the tank for Part II to this one, along with three more spin-offs. Imagination and greed truly have no bounds.
Silly Factor Score:
