Insider trading from one of Melbourneโs top chefs reveals you donโt need to be a celebrity, a baller, food critic or a โF.O.O.,โ (friend of the owner) to get showered in VIP treatment at upscale restaurants.
Of course, restaurants pull out all the stops for a โreg.โ If you go often enough and youโre a decent human, itโs just smart to keep you coming back.
But what intrigued us was the untapped potential in restaurantโs other main target groups that donโt require you to be tied down to the one establishment. Which means way more โon the houseโ perks from a lot more places.
Staff keep an eye out for:
- A promising โreg.โ
- Serious foodies (or those pretending to be).
- All-round legends who are just really fun for staff to deal with.
Weโve listed some points below on how to nail it from our chef on the inside. They wish to go unnamed, but we can tell you theyโve worked in some of Melbourneโs finest establishments. (Coda, *cough*) I didnโt say, Coda, I coughed.
Doโs and Donโts
Show your face: โThe most important thing is just to go regularly.โ
If the place is new, the sooner you get in, the better. If itโs packed, go in early or late because youโll get more air time with the staff. If itโs your first time, emphasise how excited you are to dine there, and if youโre returning, mention your favourite dishes or drink suggestions that the waiters (use their names) sorted you out with last time.
Book, and keep it: โIf you make a booking, treat it as concrete.โ
Call if youโre running late and give fair notice to cancel. Ditching your table might be great for walk-ins, but will piss off staff -especially if youโre in a mid-to-large group.
And itโs a great way to get blacklisted in some restaurants because without knowing it, you bring your dining reputation along with you.
The back end of OpenTable and SevenRooms can track your dining visits, cancellations, preferences, birthdayโs, allergies, dietaries, and even your favourite vinos. If in doubt, use your mateโs number, (the one who only goes to that one pub) for online booking.
Brush up: โAnyone who comes in with a decent amount of knowledge, or is just curious about the wine list, stands out straight away.โ
Itโs no secret that hospitality staff drink a lot. If you know your shit, any good bartender would love to have a serious chat with you.
But remember, you want to be seen as a foodie, not a dick head. Ask questions, be curious, and engage the waiters as much as possible in a way that feels fun for them. But donโt brag, or name-drop. Here are a few pointers for brushing up on your vocab.
Attention to detail: โGet to know the manager or the owner and take an interest in their vision/food story and see why they opened that restaurant in particular.โ
Try to show a bit of interest in the composition of their signature dishes, and do a quick Google to research the chefโs background before you arrive.
Generally, there has been significant time spent on deciding on everything from the fit-out down to the tiniest spoon.
Milk the staff: โSitting at the bar and chatting with the bar staff is underrated.โ
The bar is prime real estate for getting VIP treatment because you have consistent exposure to the bartender, (you can sneakily buy them a drink) and make a solid impression in a short amount of time.
Also, most of the staff will drop by the bar at some point to grab drinks or take a breather.
Try to catch your waiters name and repeat it in your chat. Not too many times that itโs creepy but just enough to show youโre engaged.
How you order is better than going for the most expensive items, as you can afford them a better tip. Joke or enquire about an obscure ingredient listed on a menu, or ask them to help you decide between a few dishes, what on the menu you absolutely canโt afford to miss, or better yet, what does no one order but they think everyone should? Do not ask them if something is โgood.โ
Pass on a tip and thank them for looking after you. Yes, I said tip. It will never be unappreciated (except in Japan, donโt tip in Japan!).
Fit in: โYes. We judge you.โ
Restaurants put forward a specific image, and do reserve seating for better-looking diners. So donโt give them any excuse to doubt you. Dress for the setting you find yourself in.
Donโt be a Dick: โIf you donโt make it fun for us, we donโt make it fun for you.โ
If the staff are slammed, you wonโt win points complaining. Thereโs probably plenty of other tables doing it. If shit is seriously going wrong, speak up, but often youโll be a standout, and potentially rewarded, if youโre the most chilled out of a whingy bunch.
If you seem entitled off the bat, youโll come off as more trouble than youโre worth. The staff know that itโs often the ones demanding VIP status who donโt want to pay the full amount of their bill, make their life hell and donโt tip.
Rave: โYou can never be over complemented.โ
Send a follow-up email citing your awesome experience, or even make a call. Reviews on socials are heavily monitored so why not chuck a few five-stars and meaningful comments in their direction. Generally, restaurants have small teams that operate for long hours which disconnect them from the outside world. In a nutshell, the teams get pretty close. Everyone knows everyone and word gets around. If you become that guy for a positive reason, it will spread.
Consistency is key. If you take this behaviour around with you and start noticing your booking is getting โsqueezed in,โ some free entres end up coming your way, you get a visit from the chef, or a digestif on the house โ itโs definitely working.
