The story of everyone’s favourite AFL larrikin – Dustin Martin – re-writing the definition of a “bender” after his 2019 AFL Premiership win has rightly been immortalised, forever woven into the cultural fabric of the nation. And there’s no better time to revisit it than Grand Final weekend.
Once upon a time – back in the halcyon days of September 2019 before COVID-19 and bushfires, to be precise – the Richmond Tigers enjoyed their second flag in three seasons against GWS. Naturally, the man himself dived headfirst into the post-victory sesh, failing to return and pick up his car from the MCG a whopping 65 days after Grand Final night.
Renowned for his stamina and form on and off the field, Richmond’s star player finally resurfaced, only just reaching a state of sobriety that allowed him to legally operate his vehicle after a string of Hollywood screenplay-worthy celebrations.
In the two-month-plus timeframe that Martin’s Jeep spent underground collecting dust at the MCG member’s carpark, Martin himself toured the world over.
Starting with the obvious destination, the man/myth/legend kicked things off with some shenanigans in Las Vegas accompanied by former Collingwood gun Dane Swan. Why they were dressed up as Peaky Blinders characters, though, is anyone’s guess. We learned quite quickly that this was far from the strangest part of his expedition.
Martin soon found himself relaxing with Grand Slam champion Serena Williams and her husband, Reddit Co-Founder Alexis Ohanian, somewhere in the Maldives. As one does.
At the time, The Herald Sun reported that Martin hadn’t arranged for his car to be picked up after the game, with The Age confirming that it hadn’t moved from the MCG carpark at all since its pre-game arrival. The MCG kindly kept a close eye on Dusty’s car, ensuring the Norm Smith Medallist’s whip didn’t see the back of a tow truck.
Dusty Martin – you are truly one of God’s own prototypes. A high-functioning sesh gremlin never even considered for mass production. Too powerful to live, too rare to die.
From the lads at BH, we salute you.
Now, read everything you need to know about the 2021 AFL Grand Final ahead of this weekend’s big clash in Perth.