Tooheys Extra Dry Platinum Is Back In All Its 6.5% ABV Glory

Aussies of a certain generation will no doubt have fond (and potentially rowdy) memories of Tooheys Extra Dry Platinum.

In the right hands, these iconic laugh starters — which packed a considerable 6.5% ABV punch — were essentially rocket fuel capable of launching you into stratospheric good times.

In the wrong hands, well… just leave that thought there and encourage your imagination/personal anecdotes to fill in the gaps. Because let’s be honest: the OG Tooheys Platinum enthusiasts out there are now at an age where getting red carded leaves a mark.

Does anyone remember Ted Ps? As in Ted platinums?
by u/gordles in sydney

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Today, we have the distinct pleasure of reporting the clean crisp lager’s long awaited return after years off shelves — complete with its original Y2K potency.

But there’s just one minor catch: as of this very moment, you’ll have to sort yourself out via the “black market.”

An inside source over at Tooheys HQ has revealed an entire “network of covert underground businesses” are currently in collaboration to deliver these Denzel Frothingtons to the people via under-the-counter means.

To get your hands on the goods, you’ll need to visit platinumlogisticsnsw.com in incognito mode to uncover the various hidden locations where Platinums are being sold, and unlock a secret password required upon entry.

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“Tooheys Extra Dry Platinums are an iconic part of Australian beer culture and it’s exciting to see them making a comeback — even if it is through unconventional means,” noted the Tooheys informant.

“Like all black markets, we don’t know how long the supply will last, so loyal Tooheys Extra Dry Platinum lovers should do everything they can to track them down.”

The informant added that this black market for Tooheys Extra Dry Platinum will only be operational from July 26th to July 28th (between the hours of 12 PM – 4 PM); along with the bonus day of July 29th (1 PM – 5 PM).

Run, don’t walk.